That's Just Me Thinking Of You
by xoxbreyoxo
Summary: She was really leaving and there was nothing Puck could, or even would do, honestly, to change her mind. . He wouldn't ask her to put off her dreams like that, no matter how much he wanted her to. READ AUTHOR's NOTE INSIDE
1. Teaser

_**Author's Note: **So, this is in the same AU as my stories "The Only Exception?" and "Get It Right." I am still working on writing/posting the whole of Season Two. When I get them all posted, I will be moving them into a Multi-Chap. This is set at the end of next year (season 3) and is a bit angsty. This is just a teaser but this story focuses on Puck/Rachel rather than P/R/F/Q as the last couple have been._

_**Disclaimer:** If I owned Glee, Mark Salling would never wear a shirt, Rachel would realize how absolutely in love with him she is and they would spend the rest of happily ever after firmly planted in Smuckelberry territory. I also don't own the song "Thinking Of You" it belongs to the amazing Christian Kane, and he debuted it in an episode of Leverage last season_

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><p>Puck stared at his guitar strings, fingers running through the chords without his even thinking about it. Sighing heavily, he pushed the instrument from his lap in disgust.<p>

He was sitting on Rachel's sofa halfheartedly listening to Schue crying his was through 'Leavin on a Jet Plane' for at least the tenth time since the founding New Directions members started receiving their acceptance letters. This time was different, though. This time Puck saw that the whole room was in tears as they hugged his girlfriend goodbye.

He's not even sure why he's so angry and that's the frustrating part. Before getting together they had talked about this, goodbyes and New York. They had talked about it a lot because she had tried with Hudson while he was dating Lauren and, go figure, Frankenteen had gotten too attached, started making Lima-centric plans for his happily ever after with Rachel cast as his leading lady, but she wasn't about to let herself get tied down in this stupid town. And if anyone understood that it was Puck.

So she'd ended it with Finn and a week or so later Lauren had dumped him for the last time and they'd just fallen back into place. She wouldn't let him put a label in it at first- and no one was more shocked by that role reversal than the Puckerone himself. But, by Channakuh she didn't even bat an eye when he'd asked his mother to invite his girlfriend's family for dinner.

The rest of the winter went on as more of the same, Puck and Rachel re-became Puckelberry when invited out with Artany, Samcedes and Klaine. And no, he didn't even make fun of the stupid names anymore.

But then Schue was crying and Rachel was pulling away and the Mister's Berry were sending out farewell party invitations and it stung to get an invite to anything as just 'Noah' without a Rachel following his name as most notes from her dads did. But an invite to this was a slap in the face.

She was really leaving and there was nothing Puck could, or even would do, honestly, to change her mind. A small part of hime even thought of actually giving her the ring his Nanna Connie had handed over before Rachel sent him on his way last year. But he wouldn't ask her to put off her dreams like that, no matter how much he wanted her to.

So he went to the stupid party, watched her from across the room as they avoided one another and listened to all of their friends sing their goodbyes. He wasn't even sure he was going to sing his song, he was miserable enough listening to Brittany's rendition of 'I Will Remember You' and Santana and Mercedes duet of 'I Hope You Dance.' He didn't even have it in him to smack Finn when he reprised 'Hello, Goodbye,' didn't join in Blaine's group effort at 'Photograph' or Tina and Mike's 'Graduation' and left the room for Kurt's attempt at a rousing 'So Long, Farewell.'

He knew he was moping, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered if she left tomorrow. He heard Tina calling his name in that little girl lost voice she only brought out when she couldn't deal.

"Puck? Puck, were you going to play something? Cause we're about done in here…"

Sighing again, the sullen boy headed back into the den, still avoiding Rachel's eyes.

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><p><strong><em>Author's Note 2:<em>**_ Please, please let me know if you guys like this. I love this song, thought it would suit Puck and had to get this story out of my head. But if you guys don't like it, I won't continue. Are you guys enjoying this 'series' of ficlets?_


	2. That's Just Me Thinking of You

_**Author's Note: **So, this is in the same AU as my stories "The Only Exception?" and "Get It Right." I am still working on writing/posting the whole of Season Two. When I get them all posted, I will be moving them into a Multi-Chap. This is set at the end of next year (season 3) and is a bit angsty. This is just a teaser but this story focuses on Puck/Rachel rather than P/R/F/Q as the last couple have been._

_**Disclaimer:** If I owned Glee, Mark Salling would never wear a shirt, Rachel would realize how absolutely in love with him she is and they would spend the rest of happily ever after firmly planted in Smuckelberry territory. I also don't own the song "Thinking Of You" it belongs to the amazing Christian Kane, and he debuted it in an episode of Leverage last season_

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><p>He wouldn't make eye contact with anyone, didn't intro his song like he would in a normal gleek jam session. He just leaned against the wall next to the fireplace, pulled his fingers across the guitar strings and let his pain infuse his words.<p>

"Well I know they say all good things, must come to some kind of ending," he tried to pull his lips into the trademark smirk, but the sad wrinkle on Brittany's brow when he peeked up told him he'd failed miserably. "We were so damn good, I guess we never stood a chance."

Puck paused to lick his lips as he lifted his gaze to Rachel's face. He didn't – couldn't – continue until her chocolate eyes met his molten hazel.

"Go on and find what you've been missing, and when that highway's tired of listening, you'll see I'm not that easy to forget." He looked down when her eyes welled with tears, he really didn't want to hurt her; he just didn't want to let her go. So he dropped his head again, focusing on the chords of his guitar.

"And when a new moon shines through your window, or you hear a sad song on the radio and you don't know what but you just start to cry. Or you're driving round on a sunny day, and out of nowhere comes a pouring rain. And a memory hits you right out of the blue, that's just me – thinking of you."

Between verses, he can hear sniffling and he's not surprised that all the girls (and Rachel's dads) and Schue have tears in their eyes, as they've been constant for weeks now. The wetness he tries to blink out of his own is just as expected but much more unwelcome.

"I'm not going to try to stop you. Doesn't mean that I don't want to. If I know you, you've already made up your mind. So go on and go if you're really leaving." He knows the glare in his eyes is harsh, and probably uncalled for but Rachel doesn't flinch from it, she just smiles that sad smile as she lets his voice caress her for what may be the last time. "Put a million miles between us. But you'll still feel me like I'm right there at your side."

He knows its true. Just like he'll always feel her presence beside him. They're two haves of the same whole. Puck never really understood the idea of soul mates until Rachel dumped him way back in sophomore year. It literally knocked the wind out of him. He spent the next few weeks focusing on Quinn just so he wouldn't feel so empty, so broken. But no girl ever lasted for him, only Rachel. She was it for him, and he'd accepted it long before she broke up with Finn over the Santana thing.

"And when a new moon shines through your window, or you hear a sad song on the radio and you don't know what but you just start to cry. Or you're driving round on a sunny day, and out of nowhere comes a pouring rain. And a memory hits you right out of the blue, that's just me – thinking of you."

He doesn't have to look up to know that she's really crying now, but he can't help it. He's mad and he's hurt but she's his Rachel just as much as he's her Noah and he doesn't want to miss any of the time he has left to just _see_ her. Even in tears and her nose all pink with her bottom lip pulled between her teeth because she doesn't want to sob through he song, she's just so damn _beautiful_ and he knows he doesn't have long to look at her so he's not going to waste the time he has. Even if he hates himself for making her cry.

"And I'm thinking about the road you're on. I'm thinking about you coming home. I'm wondering if you've got your radio on."

That part was beyond true. She hasn't even left yet and he's already got a countdown scrawled along the bottom of the day squares on the crazy couples' calendar she doesn't know he kept. A countdown to every break, every time she'll have a chance to come home to him. He knows the songs she'll sing on the drive. He knows his girl and the next lines make him sick to even think, but he also knows that she's going to get to New York and be surrounded by guys way smarter than the ones in Lima and way better for her than him, so it's bound to happen for her even if he's not moving on here.

"And when you find your way to another town, and someone tries to lay you down and a feeling hits you right out of the blue. That's me – thinking of you."

He stops playing here, partly because his hands are shaking at the thought of someone else's hands on her tiny, sculpted body and partly because he knows she loves his voice a cappella.

"That's just me – thinking of you."

Rachel's just staring at him. Well, everyone in the room is just staring at him, but Rachel's not moving, not saying anything and he thinks this might be the end. Puck feels his chest constrict, because he thinks she might actually be done with him here, like he may have pushed too far.

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><p><em><strong>Author's Note 2:<strong> So, my little OneShot has kind of spun off course. It looks like my muse is pushing me to add a response from Rachel. Let me know what you think :) Also, I'm kind of looking for a beta, if you're interested please PM me. I'm looking for someone who will pester me into finishing more of my WIPs_


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